Deleted Scenes

These are all the little scenes which didn't make it to the finished copy for one reason or another (likes, you know, they sucked).

Recruiting Officier: Originally slated to happen after the scrabble intro to show how Don Jose joined the army.

Recruiting officer - So you're interested in joining the army?

Don Jose - That's right, I want to be all I can be.

Recruiting officer- Well, the Spanish army is one of the most feared in, uhh, Spain. We have a saying here - Join the army. Meet new people. Kill them.

Don Jose - That sounds perfect.

Recruiting officer- I've just got to ask you a few questions before you can sign up: Age?

Don Jose - 20.

Recruiting officer- Do you have any serious injuries?

Don Jose - No.

Recruiting officer- Have you ever had sex with a man who's had sex with a man from Zaire since 1806?

Don Jose - No.

Recruiting officer- Have you ever murdered someone in cold blood?

Don Jose - Uhh...well only once.

Recruiting officer- Well, no one's perfect. You'll fit in just fine here. If you come this way, I'll give you your physical and you can get started.

Anime Ending: One of the original endings which was deleted due to the fact that, although those who watched anime would find it hilarious, Carmen and others might not get it.


(Carmen and Don Jose are fighting at the bullfight. All of a sudden, Carmen turns into Sailor Moon and DJ into Tuxedo Mask ed's note: I've NEVER watched this show. Believe me. Just because I know every stinking detail about it doesn't mean I've actually sat down and watched it because my cousins threatened to stick grass up my nose. Just so we're clear)

Carmen (as SM): I am Sailor Moon, champion of Justice! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil. And that means . . .

(Tux hits her upside the head with his long walking stick thing)

Carmen (as SM): Ow . . .

DJ (as Tux): I'm surprised more people haven't tried to kill you off during that God awful speech.

(Tux goes to throw his deadly roses at her and they fall at his feet)

DJ (as Tux): Uh oh . . .

Carmen (as SM): Nice one, cape boy. (She whips out her wand) Moon healing activation!

(Nothing happens. Both stare at wand, SM hits it a couple of times. Giving up, she just throws it at Tux)

DJ (as Tux): Ow!

(Carmen and DJ then turn into Pokemon trainer guys. I'm taking a wild stab at this show)

Carmen: I call pokemon Dedo Spirochete!

DJ: Oh yeah? Well, I call . . . uh . . . pokemon . . . umm . . . (trails off in a mumble)

Carmen: What? That's not even a pokemon!

DJ: Well screw pokemon! (grabs a beachball) This is Dragonball Z now!

(DJ starts lobbing them at Carmen, who screams. Sometime during this she grabs a teddy bear with wings and a deck of playing cards)

Carmen: Ha ha! I'm Sakura, and besides my name I don't know much more about this anime than you do, so, uh, take this!

(She throws her playing cards while DJ continues throwing his beach balls. Both end up mortally wounded, so they continue in typical anime style)

Carmen: I . . . I know I've never said . . . never said it, but . . .

DJ: Don't . . . don't talk like that . . .

Carmen: I . . . I love you, Don Juan . . .

DJ: Don Jose.

Carmen: Whatever. And now that I"ve finally found love, I can die . . . (she closes her eyes)

DJ: No, no!

(All of a sudden, Carmen sits up, points off screen at something (Death, maybe?), then keels over)

DJ: (still dying) Oh Carmen, my love . . . my life . . . my all . . .

Carmen: (still dead) Hurry up and die!

DJ: Okay. (dies)


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