Things Which Irk Me
1. People who don't vote and then complain about the government.
2. Ralph Klein: I voted. I can therefore complain. Great how that works, eh?
3. Sleep Country Commercials: Does anyone find these things interesting? The banter between their president and some guy which is supposed to sound off the cuff and unrehearsed? The playful laughter? Give me a break.
4. Similarly, United Furniture Warehouse commercials...especially the ones with the kids.
5. Stupid people
6. Ignorant people
7. Stupid, ignorant Americans: "You're from Canada? My cousin, Molly-Sue in from Canada! You know her?"
8. Golf on TV
9. Brett Hull: Ahh yes, the pride of Belleville, Ontario. Yet Canada's own little Bendict Arnold decides to play for the US.
10. Bad commercials: Who writes these things? Honestly, I'd conservatively estimate at least 70% of commercials on TV are just pieces of crap. Speaking of which, if I ever see another commercial with the words "I wish I had diarrhea", I've going to, well, puke.
11. Inverse Trigonometric Functions
12. Bio TA Bitch
13. Radio morning shows: Your typical radio morning show has a man and a woman. They banter together and make awful jokes which they laugh at uncontrollably. This in itself wouldn't be too bad except I'm cranky in the morning to begin with and they only aggravate me. Another thing which really irks me is how they play clips of people praising them. You know, like "you guys are the funniest radio show ever." Which is sort of like saying, "Wow! That was the most exciting inverse trigonometric function ever".
14. George W. Bush
15. Companies who pretend to be your friend: Hell, if I see one more bank or investment manager pretending that they care about me, I'm going to wrench. I have friends. What I need from you is someone who can make me money. Do that and I'll be happy.
16. Bandwagon sports fans: Stick with your team through thick and thin.
17. The Toronto Centric Media and the Toronto Maple Leafs: I absolutely can't stand the way supposed national networks like the CBC, TSN and HeadlineSports get orgasmic whenever they talk about the Maple Leafs and other Toronto sports teams. At least try and pretend to be impartial for the rest of us. This means you Bob Cole.
18. Misuse of the word "literally": As in, "My head literally exploded when I heard the news".
19. Overuse of the word "ironic": No, this one is not directed at Alanis Morisette although I will forever be grateful to anyone who explains to me what is ironic about rain on your wedding day. Seriously. No, the overuse of irony is rampant throughout the media. At the Salt Lake Closing ceremonies, Terri Libel said "Scott Hamilton ironically won his gold medal by a 9-0 decision". Please explain how that's ironic. I'd love to know.
20. Excessive PDAs
21. 2001: A Space Odyssey, the English Patient and other "critically acclaimed" movies which, well, suck: Why is it that movies which are either weird (as is the case with the former) or boring (as with the case with the later) get such high praise?
22. Leon Trotsky
23. Calgary Transit: I could write volumes on the sheer stupidity of Calgary Transit. If you ever have an hour to kill, ask me about how I hate Calgary Transit.
24. Lays potato chips: Yes. I can eat just one.
25. US companies using Canadian pride to make money: Yes, I know Molsons and Labatt do it all the time but at least they're Canadian companies. When Coca-Cola comes out saying "if we cheer loud enough, they can hear us in Salt Lake City." No offence, but Coca-Cola is not cheering for team Canada. And McDonald's? Since when did they feel the need to thank our Olympic hockey teams? I'm sure the employees of McDonald's were cheering us on. Yeah, right.
26. Leonardo DiCrappio
27. Misuse of statistics: Nothing annoys me more than this. I hate the way, people will twist my beautiful statistics around to serve their Machiavellian purposes.
28. Over use of the phrase "at the end of the day": Enough already. At the end of the day, all this does is leave me annoyed.
29. Kant: John Stuart Mill all the way baby!
30. Hypocrites: You know, like pro-life people who go around killing abortion doctors and pro-choice people who try and force people to have abortions.
31. People who try and force their beliefs on others
32. Paul Martin Jr.: Without a doubt, my most hated politician (sorry Stockwell) and I say this as a card carrying Liberal Party member. The old hypocritical weasel would run over his own grandmother if it advanced his own political career. No loyalty whatsoever. Go run for the Canadian Alliance and take your power starved blind mice with you.
Head on Back to the Unofficial U of C Guide
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