Dan and Sidd's Manly Manifesto...and Quiz...(Manifesto sounds more manly)
Special thanks to Jen and Janet for helping
Which of these activities do you enjoy? (Score 1 point for each activity you enjoy)
- Hammering nails
- Using power tools
- Watching people get wounded and/or inflicting wounds on people
- Football
- Hockey
- Baseball
- Grunting
- Burping
- Scratching
- Looking at girls
- Drinking beer
- Watching things explode
- Elvis (half a point for the skater, half a point for the singer)
- GI Joe (Who is an action figure, NOT a doll!)
- War
- Watching or talking about sports injuries
- Crude humour
- Yelling at the TV when the #%#! defenceman clears the puck up the middle instead of going around the boards like he should. (or any other clearly ridiculous play)
- Golfing
- Watching manly action movies (At least 50% of the cast dies or more than 100 people are killed)
- Gladiator Style jousting
- Bowling
- Taking things apart
- Eating steak
- Watching the man show
Which of these activities do you enjoy? (Subtract 1 point for each activity you enjoy)
- Prancing
- Anything Martha Stewart suggests
- Wearing purple glasses
- Dressing up in powdered wigs, knee high socks and wooden shoes
- Dancing and/or singing
- Figure Skating (doing it or watching it...unless the only reason you're watching it us because of cute girls)
- Watching pretty birds (unless you're watching them out of the scope of your assault riffle)
- Any activity where the word "pretty" is used in it or to describe it
- Any activity involving pink stuff (Excluding Pepto Bismol)
- Flowers
- Playing with dolls
- Tupperware Party, Candle Party or Avon crap Party
- Tea
- Watching the ballet (Subtract 5 points if you actually enjoy performing ballet)
- Writing love letters
- Talking about your feelings
- Reading romance novels
- Gossiping
- Asking for directions
- Being beaten by a girl (You lose your point here if this concept doesn't upset you to no end)
- Hugging UNLESS your team has just scored a crucial point which will assure them the championship and/or a gold medal with under 1 minute left in regulation time and you are drunk at the time
- Watching Ally McBeal
- Being called "muffin", "cupcake" or any other baked good
- Any activity involving lace
- Frolicking
How you did:
Under zero: Time to buy a guitar and sit in the coffee shop singing about your feelings
Zero: You're Michael Jackson
1-12: While you display some manly qualities, you still have a ways to go. Put half an hour aside to watch Headline Sports every night and you'll be a manly man in no time.
13: Honestly, you display the perfect balance of manliness. You enjoy many manly activities and your male peers respect your degree of manliness. At the same time, you display a soft, sensitive side deep down that women just find irrisistible.
14-25: You're a real man's man. Harrison Ford wishes he could be more like you. You have likely guest starred on Home Improvement and/or been named Super Bowl MVP at some point in your life.
If you're secure enough in your manliness to partake in poetry or creative writing, why not see what's hapening at Alpha-SOUP? And yes, that was a rhetorical questions.
Bonus Questions (Manly men will always pick B)
1. Aliens visit the earth and present you with a machine which will cure cancer and wipe out famine. Do you?
A) Hand it over to the proper authorities
B) Take it appart
2. If given the choice of spending an hour discusing advances in physics, science and life in general, who would you spend it with?
A) Stephen Hawkin
B) Anna Kournikova
3. Does it ever occur to you that your deep fascination and obsesion with sports is simply a way for you to live out fantasies and by manifesting yourself through other athletes you somehow cope with current inadequacies in your life?
A) On occasion
B) I'm a little concerned by the Flames depth on defence this year
